Sta.sh
Fave this journal (it will be your number)
Watch me IF you like my art~ ;v;
Theme
.......... The design MUST HAVE ONLY 2 COLORS; BLACK AND WHITE
.
this journal 
I really have no plans. And anything that happens in my life does so cause of dumb luck. I'm not really unhappy or anything, just seems like I'm not contributing that much to the process of living.
The thing that really sparked this was a quote from Mark Evanier when he was describing Jack Kirby.
-"He would go to the drawing table around noon everyday, and he would just sit there until about 4 in the next morning. And just draw. And he didn't take vacations, and he didn't take days of."
That to me is an ideal I strive for. Being so creatively engrossed in a world of my own I just get lost in it. It happens to me occasionally, and at that point I'm really at my happiest.
I just wanna drop everything in my life and make stuff. Stuff that matters to me.
I feel like I'm slowly moving towards a life where I truly am in creative control...keyword being slowly.
Really don't want to come across as whiny, just need to vent some times.
Anxious 
You know, maybe the lack of contributing is just your feeling...
I don´t usually comment journals of other people and don´t want to moralize but while I was reading yours, I recognised my thougts.
It seems that the only thing what would help is a strong impulse or some new source of inspiration.
Thank you for sharing your two cents.
Before the strict routines with the internship; all I'd do was draw and paint all day, it felt free, yet unstructured, uncertain and like it was all doomed to crumble and fall apart even if I got up at the same time every day; applied to a bunch of jobs and then tackled drawings and paintings...
I'm sure that if I could paint for a living, I'd be as happy as can be, but we got some harsh realities to face now, don't we? its not that easy, living off of art.